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Tante Girang Online

2010-08-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

Online dating is all about saving time and weeding out the duds as quickly as possible. By looking a person’s profile, pictures, and messages, there are a few key warning signs that can indicate deal-breakers or duds. Here are a few examples:

1.) He/she presses too hard for personal information. Even if the person with whom you’re speaking isn’t a scam in disguise, pressing too aggressively can indicate that there might be problems in the future if he/she doesn’t properly respect your space.

2.) He/she becomes insecure if you don’t respond fast enough. I’ve had a few experiences with this: the person with whom I’m writing becomes upset if I don’t respond immediately to the email, even if it has only been a few hours. Although I do tend to be fairly prompt when returning messages, I can’t always respond immediately. On occasion, I’ve had a potential match become extremely upset and take it as a form of rejection. The insecurity expressed over the matter essentially killed any interest I might have had and I ended it immediately. If someone is already insecure over a fairly irrelevant matter such as this, it may indicate that they have deeper issues, aren’t ready to date, are clingy, or will drain you of energy with their insecurities.

3.) He/she is inconsistent about the information he/she provides. If someone is constantly changing their story, there might be something deeper and darker going on -- something probably not worth your time. Stay away from this one.

4.) You already know that he/she has some of your deal-breakers. You are your own best judge. If the person in question has some qualities or behaviors that you’ve already deemed unacceptable, don’t waste your time. You’re not going to come around the problem and he/she is not going to change. Better to move on while you’re still uninvolved!

5.) He/she pushes you to meet before you’re ready or wants to meet in a way that makes you uncomfortable. You should always be safe and within your element. If someone is pushing you to meet before you’re ready, it could signal that they’re after something other than what they say.

6.) He/she comes on way too strong! It’s okay to be excited about meeting someone new, but if the person starts to express interest in a way that is clearly too intense given the status of the new relationship, it’s time to bail. This type of person can often become quickly attached and dependent on you long before you’re ready to make any kind of commitment.

Lohan Sued, the World Does Not Care

2010-08-09T23:58:00.000-07:00

Lindsay Lohan has another problem on her hands

On May 11, 2007, Giovanni Arnold, INF snapper, sued actress Lindsay Lohan and her mother Dina Lohan for allegedly hitting him with the car. The photographer claims that on March 13, 2007 the soon-to-be 21 Lohan drove her mother's BMW in a 'negligent, careless and reckless' way. The event supposedly took place in New York but no accident report is on record, in spite of the fact that the police was on the scene.

The paparazzo claims that because of the accident he suffered ''sustained severe and permanent personal injuries". We do not hold any information in regard to the financial retribution Giovanni Arnold is asking for, but we do know he will asks for a sum of money "which exceeds the jurisdictional limits of all lower courts which would otherwise have jurisdiction."

While on the Letterman Show, when she was asked if she hit the paparazzo or not, she jokingly replied "No, but I should... the guy completely faked it. Amazing." Lohan's appearance on the show was just a day before the law suit was filled.

Lohan claimed the paparazzo faked getting hit, like she claimed the recent photos of her doing cocaine in a bar's bathroom are fake. Until new evidence comes out we have Lindsay's and Dina's word against the photographer's.

To continue the bad news for the Lohan clan, Lindsay's recent film, 'Georgia Rule', was released on May 11 but it wasn't able to pull in more than $5.9 million, even though it reached the No 3 spot over the weekend, with 'Spiderman 3' still clinging to the top of the box office list. In the movie Lohan plays the part of a teenager, beautiful and rebellious, who comes to spend the summer at her grandmother's house - the part of the grandmother is played by Jane Fonda, a close friend of Lindsay's.

Well boo-hoo-hoo, little Lindsay is getting sued. Well that's a first (or is it?). Frankly I don't think the photographer has much of a case, plus the freckled star will probably go with the old saying 'any kind of publicity is good publicity'.

Lonely widow posts ad for partner online

2010-04-13T05:05:00.001-07:00

Feeling lonely and in need of company? Why not try looking for a casual partner in the Internet? If an online ad was genuine, that was exactly what a Singaporean widow decided to do.

The ad, posted on the online classified ads website olxsg.com, was allegedly from a Singaporean widow.

The advertiser, who said she was "average looking" 27-year-old, was looking for a "sincere gentleman who can provide me with excitement and satisfaction over the weekend", which she was deprived of after her husband passed away.

She also said that she was looking for a "no strings attached" arrangement.

According to the poster's personal stats as found on the advert, the widow is 164cm tall, has a slender figure and is of Asian ethnicity.

Apparently, pranksters are not welcome, the ad stated in a "no pranksters please" warning.
Singaporean Netizens who have chanced upon the ad have expressed disbelief that the ad was posted by a Singaporean.

STOMP reader FiSh3rMan was browsing a social networking website when he chanced upon the ad. The Netizen then wrote to the citizen journalism website, observing that Singaporean women these days are shaking off traditional mindsets that they need to be conservative.

The Netizen also believes the ad to be real. FiSh3rMan reasons that should the ad be created just to attract attention, the poster would have described herself as very good looking instead of average looking. He also pointed out that the ad had also stated clearly that no pranksters would be entertained.

However, this sentiment does not seem to be shared among those who have seen the post. Many STOMP readers who commented on the post did not believe the post was genuine, and one even cautioned against answering to such an advert, as one might never know if there was a camera hidden somewhere in the bedroom.

Masturbation is a powerful reinforcer

2010-04-02T02:40:00.001-07:00

Can a man make love to a woman he does not love?

It is a poser many women will want the answer to. When put to the medical experts, they unanimously told Mind Your Body: 'Yes, men can and do.'

Dr Peter Lim, president of the Society Of Men's Health and an andrologist, said: 'Men can be totally turned on just by looking at an attractive woman.

'Generally, most men, when stimulated enough, can have whether he knows the woman or loves her.'

Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Dr Adrian Wang Psychiatric And Counselling Care, said studies have shown that men stray more.

'Men tend to view as an entity alone and just do it to gratify their physical desire. They are less likely to think of long-term consequences,' he said.

What food should men eat to improve the quality or quantity of their sperm?

Fertility starts with general good health. A diet rich in fresh food and leafy vegetables is advised.

Dr Ng said men's diets should include vitamins and minerals like vitamins C and E, selenium, zinc and folic acid.

'These vitamins are natural antioxidants which basically fight free radicals that attack and destroy the membrane that surrounds sperm,' he said.

'Infertile men have been found to have a higher concentration of free radicals in their semen compared to fertile men.'

Dr Ng also advised drinking just one to two cups of coffee a day and no more than two ounces of alcohol twice every week as 'alcohol is sperm poison'.

What and where is a woman's G-spot?

This very sensitive and erotic zone was originally known as the Grafenberg Spot and named after German gynaecologist Ernst Grafenberg. He first described it in 1944.

The G-spot is believed to be located near the urethra in the anterior part of the behind the pubic bone. Stroking that area is useful for establishing whether you have a G-spot and how it adds to your pleasure. Stimulation of the area during penetration can also enhance pleasure.

Dr Peter Chew, a senior consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician at Gleneagles Medical Centre, said the G-spot is an extension of the clitoris and is highly sensitive because of the nerve endings concentrated in that area.

It is not known if all women have a G-spot.

Dr Chong said: 'Many believe that if you can find it, you may want to buy lottery.'

Are masturbation and fantasies healthy and can they affect your life?

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Masturbation is a powerful reinforcer

2010-04-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

Dr Gan Tek Kah, a general practitioner at Singapore Men's Health Clinic, said: 'Masturbation does not harm the body. However, if a person becomes so obsessed with it and pursues it at the expense of his social life, studies or work, then it's wrong.'

Consultant psychiatrist Brian Yeo added: 'Masturbation is a powerful reinforcer. The image that you play with in your mind is very powerful. If a man masturbates and thinks of a woman, he reinforces his attraction to that woman.'

As for fantasies, Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Dr Adrian Wang Psychiatric And Counselling Care, said: 'Fantasies are healthy as long as both parties are consenting adults.

'What goes on behind closed doors is your business. If playing out fantasies enhances your life and you don't harm each other, it's a good thing.'

However, if your partner disagrees with your fantasy, Dr Yeo advised modifying it such that only acceptable elements are used.

Does size matter?

Dr Gan said: 'All our thoughts, ideals and behaviour are socially constructed. The social expectation of a man is that he is big and strong so size counts. However, it is the hardness of the erection that matters, not so much the size of the .'

Dr Wang said that while size does not matter, a certain girth or length helps bring about pleasure. He advised men who are less-endowed to focus on technique.

A 2007 British study reviewing 50 international research projects on size since 1942 found that the average erect ' length is between 14 and 16cm and its girth is 12 to 13cm.

Do women achieve orgasm more easily through penetrative or oral?

Gynaecologists Mind Your Body spoke to said every woman has different preferences. Dr Wei Siang Yu, a medical doctor with a special interest in education who styles himself as Dr Love, said it is easier for women to achieve orgasm through external stimulation.

He explained: 'The nerve endings distributed in the wall can be dissipated while nerves around the clitoris of a woman are very localised.'

The Durex Wellbeing Global Survey 2006 found that 23per cent of Singapore women almost always or always had orgasms. It also found that couples 'satisfied' with the intensity of their orgasms spent 15.7 minutes on foreplay, compared to 10.4 minutes, which was the time others who were 'not satisfied' spent on it.

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The science of intimacy

2010-04-01T02:02:00.000-07:00

Dr Brian Yeo, a consultant psychiatrist in private practice, explained the consequences of men starting out early in life with high testosterone levels: 'There's this thing with young men about how many women they've bedded. It's easier for men to have without emotional bonds.

'There are a lot more men searching for commercial (paid) or consensual than women. It's due to testosterone and the man's cultural background and upbringing.'

After 40, a man's testosterone level drops between 1.2 per cent and 5 per cent every year.

'Testosterone production declines with age and, with that, a man's libido will drop. Frequency of intercourse and masturbation will decline too,' said Dr Gan Tek Kah, a general practitioner from Singapore Men's Health Clinic.

Some 50 per cent of men aged 50 and above will have some degree of erectile dysfunction while 20 per cent of men older than 60 years have low testosterone levels, which may lead to loss of drive, erectile dysfunction and lethargy, among other symptoms.

However, sperm is produced and replenished constantly so men can be fertile into their 60s or 70s.

That is how it is with men - they generally peak early and fizzle out gradually.

Women, on the other hand, hit their stride in their late 20s or early 30s before their libidos crash after the age of 40 or menopause.

Dr Peter Chew, a senior consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist at Peter Chew Clinic For Women, said: 'can still be there after menopause but it declines with age. Women can still desire but they won't have so often.'

Asked whether older folk can still have, Dr Yeo said: 'It's a slow burndown. It's possible to have but its frequency will not be as high as when you were a teenager. And your positions may have to be more conservative.'

Cocktail of chemicals

When a couple have, their bodies go through four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution.

Excitement, the first stage, is when desire and arousal occur.

This is what happens in a man: He receives stimulation, which can range from the visual (in the form of an attractive partner) to the tactile (in the form of touch and stroking), and his brain sends out signals to his via the spinal cord.

Neurochemicals like endorphins are produced and circulated in the whole body. Nitric oxide is produced by nerves in the and expands blood vessels there, enabling the spongy tissue of the to be filled with blood and thus becoming erect.

In the woman, signs of arousal include secretion of fluid and erect nipples. A cocktail of chemicals, including oxytocin and dopamine, are released in a woman's body throughout intercourse.

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The science of intimacy

2010-04-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

The couple enters the plateau phase when stimulation is more intense and orgasm is imminent. Breathing gets heavy and heart rates shoot up, and the lovers may experience flush, or red spots on the skin.

Dr Christopher Chong, an obstetrician, gynaecologist and urogynaecologist from Chris Chong Women And Urogynae Clinic at Gleneagles Hospital, said: 'hormones like testosterone, oestrogen and oxytocin are increased. This can cause a woman's breasts to swell and her womb to contract.' The womb contracts so as to suck in sperm for fertilisation.

As orgasm approaches and with increased blood flow to the area, a woman's clitoris swells and the inner lips of her thicken while the outer lips flatten.

Orgasm marks the climax, comprising a series of involuntary muscle contractions accompanied by a sudden release of endorphins and a feeling of euphoria.

In the man, orgasm involves rapid rhythmic contractions of the prostate, urethra and the muscles at the base of the, followed by the ejaculation of semen through the tip of the.

Dr Ng said: 'Men usually have a single orgasm. Some men may report multiple orgasms but it's probably because they did not ejaculate completely the first time round.'

In the woman, rhythmic muscular contractions in the uterus, outer and anal sphincter occur and may spread through her body.

Initial contractions may occur at intervals of one second or less and subsequent ones may be spaced further apart. A mild orgasm can have three to five contractions while an intense one usually counts 10 to 15 contractions.

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The science of intimacy

2010-04-01T01:55:00.000-07:00

After the orgasm, the body returns to its normal, unaroused state. Some women may experience several more orgasms before calming down.

After ejaculation, the man enters a refractory phase, where the becomes flaccid and he cannot be stimulated any further. Depending on the man's age, physical fitness and libido, the refractory period can range from 15minutes to one day.

A study last year found that satisfactory intercourse - from penetration until ejaculation - for couples lasts from three to 13minutes.

The survey, which looked at the ideal length of time to have penetrative, was conducted by 34 American and Canadian therapists.

The time does not count foreplay and the therapists rated intercourse that lasts from one to two minutes as 'too short'.

Professor Adaikan said a couple is at the peak of their love and intimacy, and hence desire, between three months and two years into their relationship.

Asked how he would define 'good', Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, said: 'is not just for reproduction, it's an expression of love and commitment.

'However, men tend to see on a more basic, primal level and find the physical aspects of more gratifying. Women tend to emphasise more on the emotional and psychological components.'

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The science of intimacy

2010-04-01T01:50:00.000-07:00

It's all in your head, really.

Contrary to popular belief, arousal starts in your brain, not in the nether regions.

Of course, hardwired into the human being's DNA is the instinct to have, which is Nature's canny way of propagating the species. The brain and private parts must then work in sync.

'There's a mind component however,' said Dr Peter Lim, the president of the Society Of Men's Health and a private andrologist.

'If a medicine is given to knock off the paraventricular nucleus - the brain's centre - you'll have no drive,' he said.

To put it simply, the act of romantically sniffing each other - or even looking at an erotic image - sends sensory impulses to the paraventricular nucleus, stimulating your urges. The brain's reward system, the ventral tegmental area, also encourages having by inducing feelings of pleasure.

It is especially true for men.

'A man's most important organ is his brain, not his,' said Dr Ng Kok Kit, a consultant in the department of urology, andropause and men's health clinic at Changi General Hospital.

It is a little different for women.

Beyond impulses and hormonal influences, women require love, friendship and emotional intimacy from men before they get aroused, said Professor Ganesan Adaikan, a clinical with the department of obstetrics and gynaecology at National University Hospital.

What drives men and women to have

Libido, or the drive, is primarily driven by hormones.

Testosterone - present in both is the hormone that causes most of the changes in a boy's body during puberty. It is also what drives both men and women to have.

Oestrogen, together with luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) - both stimulate the development of organs in both is what causes a girl's body to mature and is necessary for maintaining a woman's libido.

This is why kids turn into starved teenagers when puberty hits and hormonal levels are ramped up.

Men peak between their teens and 20s, urologists and andrologists told Mind Your Body. Women usually enter their prime when they are in their early 30s.

Dr Michael Wong, the president of the Singapore Urology Association and medical director of Singapore Urology & Fertility Centre, pointed out that testosterone in a man usually stays high until he hits 40.

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